Routine Ethical Dilemmas

Instructions: Do the Right Thing: Ethical Dilemmas Faced by You & Your Loved Ones

Write a 4-5 page (1,250 word) typed, double-spaced essay about ethical dilemmas you and/or your loved ones have faced including:

• how the situation(s) developed
• how they were handled
• & how you analyze them now as a critical thinker in terms of some or all of the following:
  a) underlying value conflicts & prioritization
  b) conflicting value and reality assumptions
  c) ethical decision making
  d) differing ethical perspectives and approaches
  e) rationalizations and other usually less-than-ideal methods used at times to deal with dilemmas

Also consider in conclusion: how does writing this paper offer you a new perspective on ethical dilemmas, ethical decision making—your own life and values, or the lives and values of loved ones?

Writing only about your own life is completely acceptable. Writing only about a loved one’s life is also totally acceptable. If you do the latter, you may wish to interview that person/those persons at some point over the upcoming week to gain perspective and awareness. Please, as appropriate, use specific & concrete detail—and active verbs—to engage your reader.

Substantively refer to the Diestler textbook at least twice in this paper, using MLA parenthetical citation; whether you use a direct quote or simply paraphrase/refer to an idea from the text, use MLA format (Diestler 45). Do a WORKS CITED entry at the end of the paper. If needed, consult EasyWriter for citation and Works Cited rules. Also, the Purdue OWL (online writing lab) can be helpful for citation questions: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/747/05/

In this paper, the idea is to explore your own ethics, values, and assumptions—and/or your family’s/friends’—while smartly using the critical tools Diestler provides. So you want the paper to be a first-person narrative that is also analytical and academically responsible. In your writing style, draw on both parts of your voice: the part that a) tells stories & reflects on stories and b) the part that analyzes life based on theory using academic discourse. I’m grading on both and how they're integrated here.

1. What is the ethical dilemma(s) you are going to address and how did it (they) develop?

2. Any underlying value conflicts? Can you articulate them here clearly, please?

3. Any evolving conflicting, or uncertain value and reality assumptions? What did you or the person you are writing about know to be good and true at the time, and how did those assumptions get tested or change over time?

4. Did you or the person you are writing about use ethical decision-making at the time? How would you analyze the decision now, after having read Diestler, in terms of ethical decision making?

5. Did you or anyone involved at the time use rationalizations? Which kinds?

6. How might writing this paper give you a useful way to talk about your values or the values of loved ones, value conflicts, assumptions, rationalizations, and ethical testing, or even your family or culture?

Solution Paper

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Routine Ethical Dilemmas

I have different friends including Jaideep and Avi. Even though Jaideep and Avi personally do not know each other they have met only once for a few minutes. However, at one time Avi had informed me that he had started dating someone he was referring to as Jane. I didn't bother to find out who Jane is even though I knew that Jaideep's girlfriend of two years, had a similar name. A few weeks later I saw them in a park and I recognized that it was Jaideep girlfriend Jane that Avi was dating. I was surprised and did not know what to do considering that my actions would automatically cause friction between two parties. Even though Jaideep and Avi are my two closest friends, Jane was also my friend since we were schooling together and I was introduced to her by Jaideep. However, we did not have a close and personal relationship with her but we still talked from time to time.

Dilemma and the decision

I was conflicted, as a friend, both Jaideep and Avi expected me to have their back and tell them if something was wrong. I am sure that they would have told me if I was in that. However, telling one of them would mean that I value one friend when compared to other. If I keep quiet and fail to reveal such information and they find out it in the long run, I would lose both of them. Initially, I decided to keep quite contemplating what I should do. While Avi was messing with my friend's girlfriend without his knowledge Jaideep's relationship was in tatters. It was difficult to notify my friend his girlfriend was in a relationship with one of my friend. No matter the decision, there was the likelihood that both would be hurt no matter what I did. The main issue was that Jaideep was a close friend from high school. However, I had been able to form a strong friendship with Avi and therefore as a friend I had a duty to be honest. The dilemma was, should I tell Jaideep or Avi first, should I tell Jane to tell them or should I ignore the situation all together. Finally I decided to tell Jaideep.

Consequences

This caused a conflict between Jaideep and Avi, and between Jaideep and Jane. Both Jane and Avi were mad at me and out friendship took a big hit. Even though I did the right thing, I never considered the consequences and therefore my friendship with Avi and Jane was affected as well as the relationship between Jane and Avi even though in the long run they managed to make up. From this experience, it made me wonder what I could have done differently and how the situation could have been approached from a different perspective.

Analysis and Lessons Learnt

Honesty is an important part of a friendship. However, being brutally honest may hurt other people feelings. There is always a need to ensure that one finds a creative way of being honest to ensure that friendship is safeguarded and that other people feel are not hurt. As a result, my friendship with both Jaideep and Avi requires me to be honest but even though this is the case some issues should be addressed with care and caution due to their sensitivity.

Analysis of the situation from the lessons learned

If I tell Jaideep, his relationship would be over considering that he had informed me that he feared that his girlfriend changed. On the other hand, Avi was so happy that he met a beautiful woman and had no idea that she was in a relationship since Jane had not disclosed those details. If I decide to tell Jaideep, Avi would feel betrayed and if Jaideep finds out that I had such information and did not tell him our friendship would be over. However, Jane was also my friend but not as close as Jaideep and Avi were, which left me in a dilemma without the knowledge of what I should do. In this case, if a tell either Avi or Jaideep both of them are likely to get hurt if I chose not to tell them and wait for them for finding out of their own I wouldn't be doing them any justice and is unethical. Furthermore, another dilemma was whether I should keep that information and never reveal it to anyone and hope that neither Jaideep nor Avi discover that I had that information. I, therefore, was conflicted on what I should do considering that my actions would cause conflicts whether I was able to reveal such information or not.  Therefore I was supposed to find a way to explain the details by making sure that the information did not cause conflict or cause irreparable damage to both of them.

Ethical Decision Making

The right thing to do in this is making them aware of the situation while minimizing the damage. Going to either of them right away would help serve the purpose but I would be detrimental to their relationship as well as their individual life. Withholding the truth, in this case, was not a good idea considering that it only made the situation worse and my friends were being deceived in the process. For instance, if I kept quiet, Avi would fall in love completely with a person in another relationship and if he discovers he would never forgive me for that since I would have ruined his life for withholding such information since that would hurt him more.

Rationalization

One justification that I had was that “I was doing it for you” meaning that what I did was to help both of them even though I only had time in notifying one person.  My feeling in this case was that “ I am just fighting fire with fire” since I wanted to punish Jane for what she had done and this was another justification that I used (Diestler, 48). My first decision was to use rationalization by trying to justify my decisions. First I contemplated not telling them with an excuse that I would avoid a situation that I would hurt them.  Therefore my decision for using rationalization is to ensure that I was not the one who ended up hurting them and I ended up taking the easy way out.  The individual rationalization used in this case was essential to try and justify the decision that I was willing to take. The use of egregious rationalizations, in this case, was to make sure that I was not blamed for the collapse of the new relationship or the failure of Jaideep relationship. At one point I asked myself, why should I disclose to my two friends of what I have found out? It is not my place to do and therefore I should ensure it was Jane who had to disclose the information. Other forms of excuses used were that if I made them aware of what I had found out it would make the situation worse to both of them.

Solution

I should have approached Jane to disclose to both Jaideep and Avi what was happening. I should have politely asked her what was happening in her life. Jane actions were unethical. She ought to have ended the relationship with Jaideep once they have identified that there were irreconcilable differences. In this case, she failed to open up to him and at the same time started dating behind his back. The ethical thing to do was break up with Jaideep and then start dating Avi.  From my standard point, I had the responsibility of making my friends aware of what was going on but I was conflicted on which direction I should take.

The role exchange test is vital in this ethical dilemma (Diestler, 50). There is always a need to evaluate other people positions from Jaideep and Avi perspective. Through this, I was able to understand how they would feel after they discover what was happening. On the other hand, the universal consequences test most people would find it acceptable if Jane was the one informing them. The higher principle test evaluates whether the decision taken is consistent with the higher principle of friendship and honesty. Therefore, the use of the role exchange test, in this case, is the most important considering that this helps in evaluating the issue from the perspective of those who have been affected (Diestler, 50). Honesty requires a person to keep their word, to always communicate and tell the truth. However, in this case, I should have established a creative way to deal with the issue.

Lessons Learnt

Even though the decision that I made helped in achieving the desired results. The ethical dilemma could have been approached from different perspectives. I should have acted immediately given that she knew what was doing was wrong and she had the opportunity to tell them. Consequentialism indicates that the ethical of one's actions is determined by the consequences on one's action which I first considered while I was contemplating on whether to tell my friends on not and the implications it was likely to have in the process. In this case, I focused on a way that would help in achieving the best possible results while minimizing the damage that it would cause in the process. On the other hand, the use of deontology ethics in the decision-making process focuses on the actions rather than the consequences. If I relied on the deontology ethics then I should have notified my friends of Jane's actions rather than going to her first since what she was doing was wrong.  In this case, rationalization should not be used but the ethical decision-making process should be the main driving force. I should have advised Jane to tell them. This was the right decision since I could have been able to minimize the damage that this would have caused if I was the one who informed both Jaideep and Avi. Therefore, Jane was the right person to disclose the information since it could have minimized the damage.  I have learned that there is always a need to evaluate ethical decision making from different perspectives. This should also be balanced with honesty and integrity. Even though Jane actions were unethical, as a friend I had a duty to inform her that what she was doing was wrong and let her make the amends. Through this, I would help in minimizing the confrontation and making sure that the outcome was favorable for everyone involved.

Works Cited

Diestler, Sherry. Becoming a Critical Thinker: A User-Friendly Manual. (6th edition). Pearson Education, 2011.